What Is Self-Awareness & Why Is It Important?

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Have you ever stopped to wonder exactly why you do the things you do? Think back to the last time you had a really bad day. Maybe you ended up going home and eating a whole package of Oreos. And then thirty minutes later, realized eating them didn’t solve your problem or make you feel any better? Or perhaps last time you felt particularly overwhelmed, instead of starting to chip away at your to-do list, you binge-watched an entire season (or two) of a show. And when you finally turned off Netflix, felt even more overwhelmed because you just wasted hours and accomplished nothing?

If you are nodding along and thinking, “Yes. Sometimes it feels like life just happens to me and I don’t have any control over it,” I’d like to teach you a different way.

It’s called self-awareness and you’ve probably heard the word before—it’s one of those words that seems to get thrown around a lot, along with self-care and other buzzy words. But if you are ready to change some patterns in your life, it’s a term you need to get very familiar with.

The patterns you want to change don’t have to be eating junk food or your screen habits. It might be a pattern in your relationships, or the way you react to certain situations. To start making changes, you have to become self-aware. This isn’t a one-time, check-it-off-the-list type situation. It’s going to be a process, and according to author Mark Manson, there are three levels of self-awareness you need to move through.

Level 1: Choosing feeling over distraction.

We live in a world full of distractions. We carry around distractions in our pocket. If we’re bored in a grocery line or waiting room, we pull out our phones. If the conversation around us gets boring, we can tune into a different conversation online. If we get into a fight with a friend or have a bad day at work, there are endless options to forget: a new show, mind-numbing hours of Candy Crush, scrolling our favorite websites. And that’s not mentioning all the distractions that existed well before the internet: food, alcohol, and hundreds of other things can help us hide our true feelings. The first step to becoming more self-aware is to realize when we are choosing distraction instead of feeling—and then make a different choice. It’s not that you have to completely ditch your favorite distractions, but rather choosing to not let them cover up your feelings. Recognize when you are using distractions to not feel something. And then, let yourself feel that thing.

Level 2: Uncovering your feelings.

Once you’ve chosen feeling over distraction, it’s time to start figuring out what your feelings mean. Is your heart racing because you are anxious or because you are angry? Are you feeling overwhelmed or are you using your to-do list to hide the fact that you are actually terrified about taking a risk? Naming and understanding what you are feeling is crucial to the process of becoming more self-aware. When you understand your emotions, you are better able to recognize why you do the things you do.

Level 3: Recognizing your weaknesses.

As we start choosing feelings over distractions, and uncovering just what those feelings are, we can start to uncover patterns and weaknesses in ourselves. We can recognize that maybe it’s not a good idea to make decisions when we’re hungry (or before coffee). We can see that when we have a bad day at work, we bring it home. Until we understand these things about ourselves, it’s hard to know how to break bad habits and patterns.

Once you’ve moved through these three levels, the goal is to move towards accepting yourself. As you become more aware of your feelings and weaknesses, you also become more aware of how to be more empathetic and compassionate towards yourself—and others.

The journey towards self-awareness is going to take work. There’s no set amount of time at each level, and your path might be more of a winding road than a straight shot through the three levels. But once you’ve become aware of your feelings and weaknesses, you’ll have a clearer view of who you are. And this will help you be more confident, more decisive, and able to make consistent progress towards creating the life you want.

Self-awareness is a practice, something you can constantly be cultivating and improving. A few tips to try on the journey towards improving your self-awareness:

1. Think about the last stressful situation you were in. How did you respond? If you’d gone into the situation knowing it was going to be stressful, how could you have prepared yourself differently? If your last stressful situation was a tough conversation with a boss or a loved one, think about how you could have prepared yourself differently. If you’d scheduled twenty minutes to take a walk afterwards to clear your head instead of jumping straight into your next commitment, how might that have changed the experience for you?

2. Become intentional about eliminating distractions so you can pay more attention to what’s happening in the moment. Put your phone somewhere you can’t easily access it. Do you always have the television on in the background? Practice leaving it off for twenty or thirty minutes at a time and build up to longer time periods (if you really need something in the background, opt for instrumental music instead).

3. Journal. You’ll be surprised at what you can uncover by taking time to journal. If everyday journaling doesn’t appeal to you, consider trying it when you are having trouble making a decision or dealing with a stressful situation.

As you learn to cultivate self-awareness, you’ll move further down the path of creating a life you love

The Difference Between a Fixed vs. Growth Mindset

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Have you ever wondered about the difference between people who seem to always be jumping to the next challenge, constantly trying something new, doing amazing things with their lives, and those who seem kind of stuck? 

There’s one key difference at the heart of it, and that’s mindset. One of these groups has a fixed mindset and the other has a growth mindset. 

People with a fixed mindset think, “Well, it is how it is and I can’t change it, so why bother trying?” They are less likely to try new things, less likely to push out of their comfort zones, and honestly, a lot of the time, they are less fun to be around! Every new idea is met with resistance and they love to complain about how things are but don’t want to try and make them better. 

On the other hand, you have people with a growth mindset. This group of people views challenges as opportunities to grow. They might not know how to do something, but they are willing to put themselves out there and try, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. This group thinks of themselves as lifelong learners.

Have you ever seen a news story about a seventy or eighty-year-old going back to college and graduating with a bunch of twenty-one year-olds? Those young-at-heart graduates have a growth mindset. They wanted to learn something new or they wanted to be able to say they finally got their diploma, so they went out there and did it! 


It’s never too late to try something new. It’s never too late to adjust your mindset. 

If you aren’t sure whether you have a growth or fixed mindset, use a few minutes to answer the three questions below. Getting out a pen and paper and writing down your answers is the best way to do this—you might be surprised at what comes out when you start writing.

  1. Do I feel resistance to answering these questions? If so, this may be a sign of a fixed mindset.
  2. What patterns do I have when I encounter challenging things? (For example: do you immediately start researching how to tackle a new challenge or do you try and avoid things you don’t know how to do?)
  3. When was the last time I tried something new? If you can’t remember, it’s time to make some changes!

And, you don’t have to start with something huge like going back to school. Want to learn something new? Start small—pick up a library book, download a podcast, or check your local community center to see if there is a class available. 

Keep taking those tiny steps, and before long you’ll have discovered the secret of a growth mindset—small steps can add up to big changes!

How Working In Your “Zone of Genius“ Makes Work More Enjoyable

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What’s your first reaction when you hear the word work? Do you feel a sense of dread and a low-level buzz of anxiety, or do you feel a sense of purpose, accomplishment, even excitement?

If you fall in the first camp, it’s definitely time to change your zone. And even if you are good at what you do and mostly enjoy it, changing your zone could make work an even more fulfilling experience.

According to Gay Hendrix, author of The Big Leap, there are four zones we function in: 

  1. The Zone of Incompetence: these are things you just aren’t good at.
  2. The Zone of Competence: these are things you can do, but aren’t something you are great at.
  3. The Zone of Excellence: this is where most people who enjoy work land. People in their zone of excellence are doing things they are really good at, are comfortable doing, and often can earn a really good living doing.
  4. The Zone of Genius: Someone in their Zone of Genius feels like they are exactly where they are meant to be. When they are working in this zone, they lose track of time, feel alive, feel the most like themselves. It’s the thing that they are uniquely and naturally talented at. 

People often get stuck in their Zone of Excellence, which makes sense: it’s full of things they are really good at. But eventually, people get bored in this zone. They aren’t doing the thing that makes them feel alive, the thing they were created to do. When someone can transition to their Zone of Genius—even for a small part of the day—it transforms things. Work goes from a dreaded “must-do” to an enjoyable activity. Creativity, ideas, and energy are unlocked. Lives are changed.

So: how do you figure out your Zone of Genius?

  1. Make a list of things you are good at
  2. Go through the list and highlight the items that you most look forward to, the ones that make you feel “in the zone”
  3. Look through the highlighted items for patterns. What do they have in common? 
  4. Start paying attention to how you feel when you do these tasks. What deserves to make it on a new list: Zone of Genius. 
  5. Think about how you can integrate items on your Zone of Genius list into your daily work. If it’s not possible in your current work situation, consider starting (or rekindling) a passion project instead. Even a few minutes a day dedicated to doing something in your Zone of Genius can make an impact.

This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer for details.

The Necessity of Creative Constraints

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Have you ever imagined what it would be like to take on a project where the sky’s the limit? No budget, no timeline, no logistical factors to worry about. You could do anything! And while it’s fun to dream big, the reality is that taking away all of those constraints might not help your creativity as much as you think. 

Constraints and limits don’t hurt our creativity—they actually help it. 

With no limits, it’s too tempting to take the easiest way out or to imitate something that’s been done before. But when we work within boundaries, we’re forced to get creative and think outside the box. We’re challenged to stretch our imaginations, to come up with workarounds, and find new ways of thinking. 

Sometimes, constraints are what we need to get the project done in the first place. Most of us have had the experience of pushing something off until right before the deadline, feeling like we have all the time in the world to get to it. But then when time is almost up, we get to work—and are incredibly productive and creative in just a small amount of time, getting more done in the last few hours than we did in all the days (or weeks) leading up to the deadline. The freedom of having all the time in the world means we feel no urgency–the time limit pushes us to actually do the work.

Limits force us to think of new ideas. If you’ve ever participated in a low ropes course as part of a team-building exercise, you can probably think back and remember the facilitator telling you the limits. For example, your group might be on one side of a spiderweb-shaped rope. Your goal: to get everyone through the spiderweb. Easy enough—everyone can just crawl through, right? But then you hear the rest of the instructions: if anyone touches the ropes, you have to start over. And—each opening in the spiderweb can only be used once. Once your group has learned the constraints, the creative ideas start flowing. 

How many companies said they couldn’t make remote work a reality for their workforce—until a pandemic hit, and coming into the office as usual wasn’t an option anymore? 

Innovation happens within the framework of constraints. 

If you are feeling stuck on a project, consider adding some limitations to jump-start your creativity. Set a timer for ten minutes and write down as many ideas as you can in that time period. Find three random objects around your house and challenge yourself to incorporate them into your project. Think of a rule that would make things more difficult, and spend twenty minutes thinking of ways to get around it. You might not solve all your problems by adding limitations, but you will unlock your creativity—which might be exactly what you need!

Don’t Waste Time Looking For Your Passion–Do This Instead

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Do you ever feel lost because you haven’t found your “thing” yet? You see people out there, determined to chase their passion, and you’d love to do the same: but you just can’t figure out exactly what your passion is. Everyone says “you’ll just know” when you find it, but you are interested in so many things. If you can’t imagine narrowing it down to just one passion, that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

In fact, I think it’s time for you to abandon the search for your passion.

That’s right. There’s no need to obsess over finding the one perfect interest or hobby to pursue. There is no such thing as a single perfect path. So stop feeling stressed that you haven’t found one yet!

Instead, let your curiosity lead you. Dabble in this and that. Take an art class, try a new exercise class, check out a “how to” library book. With each venture into a new activity, you learn something about yourself: what you like, what you don’t. You get the benefit of a new experience. You might not have deep knowledge in one subject, but your knowledge will be wide, spanning lots of subjects, and that is valuable too. 

Everything is connected. It might take years to see how it all fits together, but one day you’ll realize that all the little bits and pieces of things you’ve tried over the years have brought you somewhere that investing in only one passion wouldn’t have.

Some people find their thing and run with it. They become devoted experts and evangelists — and we need them. They put in the hard work to become experts in their field, and that’s something to celebrate. 

But we need you, too. The person who has dabbled in this and that, and chased all kinds of ideas and interests. The person who can find connections and patterns between subjects that might seem unrelated at first glance, who can bring in new ideas and keep things fresh.

One day you’ll look up from the small business you created or the novel you are writing and you’ll realize that all those bits and pieces are exactly what got you to where you are.

Forget finding your passion; follow your curiosity instead.

4 Truths About Those Ideas You Don’t Act On

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Do you have half-full notebooks or Google docs full of ideas gathering dust? Don’t be discouraged: not every idea is meant to be acted on. Brainstorming is valuable, whether or not you end up acting on all of the ideas, because creativity begets creativity. The more ideas you come up with, the better chance you’ll land on one (or more) that will work for you! 

It can be hard to determine which ideas to act on and which to leave for someone else. Here are a few reasons it’s okay to leave an idea alone.

Three reasons you shouldn’t act on an idea:

ONE // The idea requires more than you have to give right now. Knowing your capacity will help prevent you from getting overwhelmed. If you love an idea, but the thought of all the work it will take to make it happen fills you with a sense of dread instead of a feeling of anticipation—pay attention. This might be a sign that you are close to the limits of the capacity you have to give right now.

TWO // You’ve had an even better idea! It might be a brilliant idea: that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the idea for you. If you’ve thought of something incredible, but you know that it doesn’t fit your skill set, it’s okay to let that idea go—or to pass it on to someone else who does have the needed skill set.

THREE // Some ideas need a long time to germinate. A seed of an idea planted now may need time to grow before it’s time for you to act on it. If an idea isn’t right for this moment, that doesn’t mean it won’t come back to you later, at a better time. Allow space to see what takes root and what blows away on the wind.

And, one reason you should act on an idea:

Don’t let fear hold you back. Sometimes we have THE idea and we know it—but we are too paralyzed by fear to move forward. Ask yourself what’s holding you back. Be brutally honest: journal or mind-map the details of your idea and write down all your fears. Then talk yourself through them—and run with your big idea! 

Before you toss your ideas aside, ask yourself these four questions:

  • Do I have the capacity?
  • Is this my skill set?
  • Does this idea need time to grow?
  • Is fear holding me back? 

Your answers will help you determine which ideas to let go of and which to move forward with.

And when you are feeling stuck and looking for a new idea? Flip back through those notebooks and scroll through those Google docs—maybe you’ll stumble back across an idea that wasn’t right then, but is perfect right now.