Silence & Solitude

How do you feel about being alone with your thoughts and feelings? Does it make you uncomfortable? Are you afraid of what will come up?

I read this quote, the other morning, in my current read, “Every Thought Captive” by Jerusha Clark:

I feared the silence and solitude. What would I hear in the silence? Would I have to face myself if I sat quietly for five minutes? … I kept my life loud enough to drown out my own thoughts, and what God might be trying to say to me.

Andrea (quoted on page 205, “Every Thought Captive” by Jerusha Clark)

And, this made me curious… both about how others (like you) feel on this subject, and also whether I am truly as comfortable as I think I am with self-reflection.

I’ve always considered myself to be extremely introspective — perhaps even more so than most. I love to sit & journal, and think, and dig into why I do (or don’t do) certain things. I’ve always been curious.

As such, I don’t see myself as being scared of the silence; I’m not afraid to look inside, or to consider my own thoughts.

I don’t even think I’m all that fearful of what God may want to say to me. After all, I ask Him, frequently, to speak to me… to show me who He is, and what He has for me.

However, for me, it’s more about the feelings I may have to experience if I really slow down enough. I don’t like discomfort. I don’t want to face certain feelings. It’s not that I can’t… simply that I prefer to stuff them down, find the positives, and carry on. Who has time for negativity, am I right?

And yet, by not facing my feelings, they continue to pop up again — sometimes in different ways — trying to get my attention. And they usually don’t go away until I’ve dealt with whatever it is they’re trying to show me (which usually involves bringing them before God and getting His help).

Here’s the thing:

By not slowing down and taking time to be in the silence with our own thoughts (or feelings) — or, even allowing God to speak to us — we cannot grow into all we are meant to become. We get stuck in a loop of sameness. And that’s really no way to live. It doesn’t bring us the “abundant life” Christ promised us.

So, I encourage you to be brave. Intentionally take the time to sit in silence, even just for five minutes, and take note of what comes up. I will be doing this, myself (facing my feelings), too.

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Not Your Typical Christian Gal

I’m not your typical Christian gal. I don’t do the whole pushy, shove-it-down-your-throat stuff, or flaunt my faith piously for all to see. In fact, I’ve been dubbed “backslidden” and “far from God” because I don’t fit into the mold.

For example, here are a handful of things that set me apart:

  • I will go to bars
  • I like to drink alcohol (though, I don’t drink a lot)
  • I like Bohemian/Gypsy-style clothing
  • I don’t attend church
  • I follow my intuition (aka: Holy Spirit)
  • I don’t spew “Christian-ese” at people, or try to convert sinners
  • I read books like The Da Vinci Code, Harry Potter, Twilight, and even –gasp!– Rob Bell’s books
  • I love the Enneagram
  • I believe it’s okay –good, even!– to have doubts, and to question things
  • I was not (and still am not) a fan of Donald Trump
  • I refuse to watch Fox News



However, lest you think I’m a complete heretic . . .

  • I do not agree with homosexuality (though, I’m willing to befriend those who live this lifestyle)
  • I am against abortion (in other words, I am pro-Life)
  • I believe the Bible is God’s living & active Word
  • I don’t find it necessary to curse (swear)
  • I will not ‘hide’ my faith in order to seek approval, or be “accepted”
  • I do still avoid certain content, people, and situations, in order to guard my heart and mind (Prov. 4:23)



If you had a scale, with the far-left/Liberals on one end, and the far-right/Fundamentalists (& Evangelicals) on the other end, I’d say I fall somewhere just slightly to the right of centre.

I like to think of myself as a free-spirit or nonconformist Christian (heck, even a Christian rebel!). 😛

A lot of mainstream Christians and I do not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, and I’m okay with that. (I do so wish, however, that more of them were open-minded enough to have healthy discussions with me, rather than jumping to conclusions, or judging me right out of the gate!). Sigh.

DECONSTRUCTING FAITH

Recently, I read an article that talked about “deconstructing faith”. I found this really interesting, especially since it’s quite similar to the process I went through, myself, quite a number of years ago (and am, perhaps, still going through).

Academics have dubbed it ‘theological deconstruction’, but in simple terms, they’re referring to what happens when a person asks questions that lead to the careful dismantling of their previous beliefs. Some talk about a “mid-faith crisis”, where deeply held doctrines are re-examined and sometimes jettisoned in favour of more progressive ideas. Many continue to self-identify as Christian throughout this time, others take on another label which they say carries less baggage, such as ‘follower of Jesus’.

Sam Hailes, Premier Christianity

The dilemma for those experiencing a shift in their faith is often figuring out which of their beliefs are true and good, and which are false and harmful… This period of questioning can be painful and often isolating, as Christians are sometimes afraid to voice their doubts or admit to a change of theology. 

Sam Hailes, Premier Christianity

The problem comes when people “deconstruct” their faith through questioning, but then fail to “reconstruct” it, afterwards. This is where you find a lot of the ex-Evangelicals, and those who’ve renounced faith all together. And it breaks my heart.

My sincere hope, in writing this post, is to find other free-spirit Christians, like myself, who don’t fit into the box (and don’t care to, either!)… those who are followers of Jesus, and hold to the inerrancy of Scripture, but who strongly believe that Jesus came to set us free — not to burden us under a list of “thou-shalt-not’s“. (Leave me a comment, if that’s you!)

Functional gods

In my Bible study, recently (No Other Gods by Kelly Minter), Kelly was talking about the biblical story of Jacob, Leah & Rachel, and how both of these women had their sights set on their (functional) ‘gods’: Leah’s ‘god’ was Jacob (his love), and Rachel’s ‘god’ was bearing children.

What stood out most to me, though, was this:

How many of us settle for so much less than what’s available to us, simply because our sights are set on the wrong Source?

Leah’s sights were set on what Jacob could do for her, rather than on how God was answering her desires and healing her pain… in His way.

Rachel’s sights were set on the fact that her lack of children made her feel ‘less than’, rather than being grateful to God that she had the love and devotion of her husband, Jacob.

Both of these women were consumed by their false gods. They couldn’t (wouldn’t) see how God was actually present and active in their lives.

I think, then, of my own life… and the things that I’m focused on or striving after. Where am I discontent? What am I looking to for satisfaction and fulfillment?

… Leah thought that ‘if only’ she could have Jacob’s affection, then she’d be satisfied.

… Rachel thought that ‘if only’ she could bear children, then she’d be satisfied.

I often think, ‘if only’ I could …

  • be successful in my business (earning money)
  • have a better house
  • have a more reliable vehicle
  • lose the excess weight…

then I’d be satisfied.

I’m striving. I am looking to earthly things and accomplishments for satisfaction, fulfillment, and peace.

Yet, I’ve had these things that I wanted, before… but I’ve not found satisfaction.

Reason being, God alone can fully satisfy. No person, place, thing, or accomplishment will ever suffice! Only God being our everything — above all else — will ever bring the kind of fulfillment we seek.

It’s okay to want those other things — a healthy home, a loving marriage, a well-cared-for body, a thriving career — so long as we don’t seek them more than we seek God… so long as we remember that the only thing we truly need is God, alone. Everything else is merely icing on the cake — an added blessing! (“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God… and all these things will be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33)

As long as we feel we need anything other than God, we will be discontent, striving, and chasing ‘idols’. But if we believe that we need nothing but God to be satisfied, then everything else becomes simply a blessing given to us from Him! (not earned of our own merit or action).

I don’t need a thriving business… because God has promised to provide for all of my needs. Yet, He has blessed me with this gift of being able to use my talents and skills in service to Him. God gave people work so that they could have a sense of accomplishment over the work of their hands, and something with which to fill their days. I, personally, am blessed to be chosen to use my gifts for Him in this way!

I also don’t need weight loss in order to be acceptable or loved or admired, as God loves and accepts me as I am. However, God also calls us to be good stewards of these earthly bodies so that we can carry out His Kingdom plans, and He wants us to seek Him for comfort — not food. Food has also become a false ‘god’ for me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Father, forgive me for setting my sights on all of these other things — looking to them for satisfaction — when only You are the true answer! I praise You for Your grace, mercy & patience with me, Lord. Thank you! Amen.

14 Amazing Christian Living Books

One of my favorite things to do is to recommend books! I used to read –on average– 80 books per year ((grins)). So, I’ve got quite the collection to pull from.

Here are 14 amazing Christian Living books I’d recommend:

  1. Crash the Chatterbox – Steven Furtick
  2. Brazen: The Courage to Find the You That’s Been Hiding – Leanna Tankersley
  3. Girls With Swords – Lisa Bevere
  4. What Keeps You Up At Night? – Pete Wilson
  5. If: Trading Your If-Only Regrets For God’s What-If Possibilities – Mark Batterson
  6. Grace For the Good Girl – Emily P. Freeman
  7. Practicing the Presence of Jesus – Wally Armstrong
  8. Battle Ready – Kelly Balarie
  9. The God-First Life – Stovall Weems
  10. Sacred Pathways: Discover Your Soul’s Path to God – Gary Thomas
  11. Girl Meets God: A Memoir – Lauren Winner
  12. Jesus in the Margins – Rick McKinley
  13. The Beautiful Fight – Gary Thomas
  14. The Jesus of Suburbia – Mike Erre

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Transformation Through Questioning

We live in an age with an abundance of information. It comes at us from everywhere — home, church, school, work, online — it’s no wonder so many of us have lost sight of / gotten so confused about who we really are!

For a lot of my younger years, I attended church and Christian schools. It wasn’t until college that I started to learn that there were other worldviews that existed.

Throughout my twenties and thirties, a lot of time was spent maybe not “unlearning” the things I was taught, but rather seeking to take hold of what was true, and releasing what wasn’t. I needed to come to my own conclusions about what I believed, instead of blindly accepting everything others had taught me, without questioning it.

And yes, through this process of questioning and choosing, my life was transformed. It brought a maturity and a strength I hadn’t previously had.

LEAVE A COMMENT and tell me what you need to “unlearn” (or question) in order to grow.

On Work Ethic and Fear

Yesterday, I started reading, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki. The very first lesson is that “rich people don’t work for money… they make money work for them.” And, within this lesson, another said, “we need to learn to control our emotions — to think before we act”.

Robert shares that most people (the 99%) are driven by the emotions of fear & greed… fear of not having enough money, and then greed about what things they will buy with the money they do get.

These two fears never completely go away. So, we need to learn to control them … to respond (after thinking), rather than react (without thinking).

After finishing chapter one, I set the book aside, needing time to let it all sink in. And, as I put some of my other books back on my shelf (ones I’d been reading the day before), my eye landed on “The Motivation Manifesto” by Brendon Burchard. So, I pulled it down and started skimming through it, as something in my gut prompted me to do so. And, sure enough, there was a whole chapter titled, “On Fear”. So, I sat down, and read through that chapter.

Where I started off, it talked about the “weaklings” — those who fear effort — calling them “worshippers of ease” and “escapists” (all of which struck a nerve). It talked about them having given up their power to absolve themselves of the responsibility of living a remarkable life. Ouch.

Brendon writes, They don’t have the resolve to pursue their highest selves, or any meaningful purpose … [But] what good is a life without struggle? … What mastery can there be without real effort…?

This made me think, again, about how I’ve never been driven towards “mastery” or “excellence” in anything. I’ve never cared to excel; good enough was good enough.

Yet, I’d also researched “work ethic”, this morning (along with what the Bible says about this topic), learning that it’s about dedicating oneself, and giving your all toward somethinghaving certain principles that guide your work behavior. And, in combining that with these two new insights from these books, I’m starting to see that the value of all of this isn’t the outcome or the result. Its value actually lies in the fulfillment that comes from knowing you gave it your all, and –more importantly– that God is glorified by our dedication, integrity, diligence, and commitment to the task at hand.

For me, the outcome has almost never been worth the effort I’d have to expend; it wasn’t worth me forfeiting things I’d rather be doing with my time.

But that, there, is also faulty thinking: that “my time” is my own!

God says we are to be good stewards of this life, including — maybe especially — our time… because my whole purpose for existence is to know God, love God, and to make Him knownto do as He calls me to do… not to whittle away my days, being comfortable, scrolling social media, and gluttonously feeding my ego with motivational quotes.

So, the true fulfillment isn’t in what we get from the work we do (eg. the money, or all that it could buy). True fulfillment lies in giving our all to the work, itself, because that honors God — which is the whole point! In using the gifts and talents God gave us, in service to others (with a good attitude, and with excellence), we are bringing glory to God, and being –proving ourselves– set apart for the Kingdom.

And, honoring, and bringing glory to, God is FULLY worth my time… it’s the only thing that really is!

By knowing that our joy and fulfillment come through doing the work, it seems all the more imperative to me, too, that we choose work that best uses the talents and gifts God has given us… choosing work that brings us joy.

Do you know what work best aligns with YOUR talents & gifts? If not, feel free to check out my self-coaching guides for help with that.