One of the things I’ve been learning, lately, is that we never truly “arrive”. Once we hit a goal, there is always another to take its place.

I used to be so focused on the outcomes — the desired end result (tbh, I still struggle with this). But it would often lead to frustration, either because that outcome always seemed too far out of reach, or because I would reach it and then not feel as exuberant as I’d expected to feel.

One of my favorite articles, by James Clear, talks about letting go of our focus on goals (aka “outcomes”), and instead, focusing on systems — in other words, the small action steps you need to take, day-by-day, to achieve those goals or outcomes.

The benefits include: (1) mastering the skills you need, in order to excel; (2) not being overwhelmed by the big end goal you’re aiming for; and (3) making incremental progress toward that desired outcome.

The Japanese call these small, continuous improvements “Kaizen” (read more about that concept here).*

Think about it this way:

If you’ve ever had a goal to lose over thirty pounds, you know that thinking about trying to get to that end goal (outcome) seems so far out of reach. It can be so overwhelming, in fact, that you think to yourself, “I’ll never get there. What’s the point of even trying?

What if you, instead, focused on the day-to-day actions you needed to take that would still — eventually — take you to that goal? For example, eating half of what you normally would at mealtimes, or making sure to move intentionally for at least thirty minutes a day. Now you’re just focused on today. And, isn’t that a lot more manageable, mentally?

Let’s look at another example:

Say you have an online business, and you need to fill up your email list (get leads), and start generating sales. Maybe your goal is to get 600 new email subscribers, because you know those people are more likely to buy from you. Yet, looking at that number (600 subscribers) seems daunting!

So, what are the daily actions you can take that will help you grow your list?

Maybe it’s reaching out to a handful of new people through social media, each day, and building relationships. Maybe you create content that attracts your ideal people to you. The more you do these small things, the more momentum you will build, and the more people you’ll find signing up for your list. Before you know it, you’ve surpassed that original goal of 600 new subscribers!

When we focus on the outcomes, we get overwhelmed and deflated.

But if we focus on the daily steps we can take to make progress, we are much more likely to enjoy the journey.

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*This post contains affiliate links. Please see my Disclaimer page for more information.

Self-awareness is defined as “conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires” (Oxford Languages).

I’ve always been very interested in understanding who I am, and how I relate to the world. This self-awareness has brought me on a really interesting journey, through the years. But, don’t just take it from me. Here are 6 reasons why self-awareness is important:


You cannot change direction if you aren’t aware that you’re not headed where you want to go.” — John C. Maxwell

There are many voices of counsel, but few voices of vision.” — Woodrow Wilson


What would you most love to do?

You must have some kind of criteria for knowing if the desire you have matches the abilities you possess.” — John C. Maxwell

“Do you know the difference between what you want, and what you’re good at?
Do you know what drives you and what gives you satisfaction?
Do you know what your values and priorities are?”
— Warren Bennis


“Self-awareness is important because when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we’re able to experience ourselves as unique and separate individuals. We’re then empowered to make changes, and to build on our areas of strength, as well as identify areas where we’d like to make improvements.” — University of Warwick


Also, it’s the first step in changing your life by being aware of your habits.

Self-awareness is being conscious of what you’re good at while acknowledging what you still have yet to learn.” — University of Warwick


It’s easier, when you’re self-aware, to understand other people, and to detect how they perceive you in return.


“Self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence, with self-awareness being made up of emotional awareness, true self-assessment, and self-confidence. Understanding these elements can transcend your understanding of emotions, your personal strengths and weaknesses, and having a strong sense of your own worth.” —

Would you add anything to this list?

I was so tired of jumping from one thing to another. I’d get going in a direction that felt so perfect for me, and I’d be really excited, thinking I’d finally found my “thing” . . . only to lose interest, again, a few months (sometimes weeks) into it.

I was always starting over. And it was exhausting.

Thankfully, I came across a handful of things that helped me get some stability — to be clear on what does and does not work for me, and that helped me to figure out which way to go.

Here are a few of those things:


I’ve kept a diary, or journal, since I was around 10 years old. And, while it started as a simple log of what I did each day, it has now morphed into a way for me to sort out my thoughts.

I know a lot of people are intimidated by the idea of journaling. But there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. Just grab a pen and notebook (or, an app — whatever you prefer), and start jotting down what’s going on, how you feel about it, and any ideas you’ve got for how to proceed. Over time, it will become more natural.

The benefits are huge, though. I’ve had so many “aha” moments from reading back through old entries, or just from pouring out my thoughts and being able to make sense of what’s been tangled up inside my head.

2 | CURIOSITY (or, a willingness to learn)

Because I am always exploring new ideas, and reading to learn new perspectives & new ways to do things, I’ve stumbled across some amazingly helpful books and articles.

Two such things I read gave me a huge “aha”! They both said that we don’t have just one thing we’re meant to do with our lives — that our “purpose” will shift and change along with the different seasons of our lives. Maybe in one “season”, mother hood is your purpose. And then, in another, perhaps entrepreneurship becomes your purpose. (And, even within those things, it could get even more nuanced — like biological children & adoption; or “working” as a blogger/affiliate, and coaching).

It was such a relief, though, to know that I wouldn’t have to box myself into one path for the rest of my career! It made all the difference!


I’d heard, over and over, that you should invest in yourself by hiring a coach. The experts all say that it’s the way you scale up. But, when you’re broke, that seems impossible.

The good news is, it’s not impossible. I kept searching and praying, as I was desperate for the accountability, and I was eager to learn. And eventually, God led me to find someone I could partner with in a bartering situation — I helped her, and she gave me coaching in exchange.

And, oh goodness! I have come so far since beginning to work with my coach! My progress excelled at lightning-speed, and I got so much clarity! It really does help to have someone you can bounce your ideas off of, who will ask you clarifying questions and who’ll challenge you to go beyond what you think are your limits. I truly thank God for my coach!

(Note: A lot of what I needed in the early years, I now realize, was more of a strategist than a coach, because when you’re just starting out, you don’t know what you don’t know. A coach’s questions, therefore, can sometimes be more frustrating than helpful, whereas, a strategist will offer suggestions and advice. However, there comes a point where you’re ready to shift from strategist to coach, and I found my coach right when I needed her the most).

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Now, thanks to this combination of journaling, curiosity, and coaching, I feel confident in my path forward. I still have certain kinks I’m working out, of course. But overall, I’m much more grounded, and I know what will or will not align with where I intend to go.

Check out my services if you’re interested in fast-tracking your own clarity. I offer single sessions, as well.

So many people have a ton of great ideas — they just have no idea which of these they should pursue, and they are terrified of getting it “wrong” — of choosing the “wrong” thing.

There are, however, ways to move forward, and feel confident in your decision. Here are 3 tips to help you choose…


Sure, whatever you choose may or may not be a right fit for you. But, you had to make that choice in order to make that discovery. It’s a lesson, so learn it and then move on to the next thing. Know that you can always make another choice … you are never stuck.


Just going over and over the options inside of your head will never do you any good. It only serves to make you frustrated, and leaves you going around in circles (speaking from experience!). The only way to truly know if something will or will not work for you is to get out of your head, and do something with your options.

Maybe you try this new job or path for a while (an internship, perhaps?). Or, maybe you talk to someone already working in that line of work about what it’s really like, day-to-day. You could even try shadowing someone at their job, for a time, to get a feel for the type of work and its environment.

But again, you must get out of your head if you want to truly find your answer.


Several years ago, when I was stuck in a job that I hated, I got out a piece of paper and made two lists: Jobs I’d Loved & Jobs I’d Hated (really, it was more like lists of tasks at each of my previous jobs that I’d either enjoyed or couldn’t stand). I listed out everything I could think of, whether these jobs had been paid, or volunteer, or even just odd jobs done for family members. Some of the items on my lists included:

Loved: lots of sunlight | freedom to make decisions | no strict dress code | able to generate ideas.

Hated: micromanaging boss | confined to a single spot all day | uniforms | being on-call.

Having these two lists, and the awareness these gave me, helped my next job to be so much better! It was near-perfect for me (as far as 9-to-5’s go). I had a ton of autonomy, didn’t have to get dressed up, was never called to cover a shift, and my boss was pretty cool!

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Really, the main point to remember is that you can always make a different choice. Heck, what I went to school for isn’t even close to what I now do for a living! But it took a lot of trial and error to figure out my true path. Nevertheless, I’ve found it and can now confidently reassure you that you, too, will eventually find your way.

LEAVE A COMMENT and tell me three of the options you are currently considering. I’d love to hear about what interests you!

When you first start out in business for yourself, it’s so exciting to get everything set up. You choose a name for your company, you set up your website and social media platforms, you pick out a color scheme, and you decide what you’re going to offer to your audience. Best of all, you’re finally escaping the 9-to-5 grind… or, you’re starting on the path towards that. It’s only a matter of time.

After a couple of months of being “open”, and doing promotion and other things you’re supposed to do as a self-employed business owner, you start to get discouraged because, for all of your efforts, you’re mostly hearing crickets… maybe you got a little bit of interest, but it’s been nowhere near the fanfare (or income) that you’d expected.

What’s the deal? Are you just not cut out for this whole entrepreneurship thing? Are you just not trying hard enough?

Here’s a hint: Go back and re-read the first paragraph of this post, and notice the word that appears (in two versions), over and over throughout. Did you catch it?

That’s the problem. It’s been all about you. In actually, “your” business is supposed to be all about …them.

Who are they?

“They” are your audience and potential customers. Without them, you’ll never have a business, only have a hobby. Because, they are the ones who are supposed to be paying for your offerings.

Doesn’t it make sense, then, that it should be all about them?

So, let’s come at this from this new perspective. Let’s go back to the beginning and put this together with our audience in the spotlight.


In this book (and TED talk), “Start With Why“, Simon Sinek talks about how the most successful brands (eg. Apple, Inc.) don’t start with what they offer, but instead, why they’re offering it. The reason for this is because we, as consumers, shop first based on our emotional response — and then we justify our decisions with logic. It therefore makes sense to start by thinking about why you’re offering this particular product or service, and why your audience needs it. Also, why did you decide to get into this particular business?


Next, you’re going to need to think about who needs what you’ve got to offer. Whose problem aligns with why you feel compelled to be an entrepreneur?

After all, that’s what business is all about — solving the problems others have, and getting paid to do so. It’s an exchange of value.

The tricky part, here, is finding a balance between who has a problem you can solve, but also who fits the profile of someone you’d most like to work with, or serve.

Depending on your business model, this second bit may or may not matter. For example, if you’re opening a retail store, perhaps the customer’s personality type isn’t going to matter; whereas, if you’re offering a service like coaching others on-on-one (or, even in a group setting), it’s going to matter a great deal whether or not you and your customer get along!

This topic needs far more depth than I have the space to go into, in this post, so I’ll do another post about it at a later date (or, you can dig into this more with me, one-on-one).


Simon Sinek also says that “customers don’t buy what you do; they buy why and how“.

So, the next question you need to ask yourself is this: How will my product or service help my audience get what they want? How will it solve their most pressing problem?

Notice that you’re not yet touching on what the customer needs. They may not even know, yet, what they truly need. All they do know is that they have this problem, and they want relief… they want it solved.

So, answer the question they’re really asking, which is, “what’s in it for me?” How can you (your product/service) solve their problem?


Finally, you’ll need to come up with what you can offer that answers all of the above questions. To recap:

  • Why are you offering this, and why does your audience need it?
  • Who needs what you’ve got to offer?
  • How does it benefit them? (What’s in it for them?)

There are other questions you’ll need to answer, of course (like how you’ll offer these solutions, what you’ll charge, etc).

The key, though, is to always keep your customer at the forefront of your mind in everything you do throughout “your” business.

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How has this post opened your eyes to changes you could make in your business set-up or thinking? Let me know in the comments (or, message me!)

I almost gave up. I was so frustrated, & so exhausted. I wasn’t sure that any of this was worth it.

But there’s a fight inside me that was desperate to hold on . . . desperate to find a way.

So, I sought help.

I didn’t have the means to hire anyone. Yet, thankfully, there are people out there who offer free calls. Oh, how I’m grateful to those people!

Sure, I couldn’t hire them. And maybe some of them thought I was wasting their time.

However, just being able to talk through things with someone else was enough — every time — to give me back my hope, and help me get clear enough to keep pushing forward.

Having someone else speak words of support & encouragement; someone to highlight things I hadn’t seen or thought of before; someone who’d been through the struggle & could simply say, “I get it. This isn’t easy. But you can do this.”

. . . it was the light in my darkness.

I wouldn’t be where I am, today, without those people. The value of others’ support cannot be underestimated.

Where do YOU find that hope & support?